I don’t know how she does it.
Remember that movie, back in 2011 with Sarah J. Parker. If not, no worries, the movie was about a mom of two small children who held a position at an investment firm.
It’s been awhile since I watched the movie; however, I remember feeling anxiety for SJP’s character as she tried her best to balance work and mom life. The reason I bring this movie up is because of how ticked off I get when I hear the words work/life balance or integration or boundaries.
Not because I do not believe these things exist… but because these words can make us feel inadequate, like we aren’t doing enough or doing things right. Like everyone has the SECRET to how to create the work/life balance.
A large part of this is because social media shows us these women cooking meals, raising perfectly polite children in their well-curated homes, building an empire in business. While we sit at home in our messy hair top knot with piles of laundry on the treadmill in the corner of our room just trying to hit 6-figures in our business without missing out on bake sales or soccer games. And the whole time, we are staring at social media looking at other women wondering, “I don’t know how she does it.”
Here’s the thing. I don’t know how she does it either. And if I ever for one second made you wonder that about me… then I apologize.
*Note: Maybe… just maybe, she doesn’t do it all. A thought to ponder later.*
If you want to know the truth, raising a family while building your business is hard. It’s sacrificing watching the newest Netflix series to learn more about marketing or strategy. It’s ditching habits which make you feel comfortable to ones that stretch you more than you like at the moment. It’s realizing some friendships need to be pruned while others need tending. It’s saying, “no to parties” so you can focus on an upcoming launch.
Notice how I simply said it was hard… not that it’s not doable.
Want to know another fact no one is sharing? How you “balance” your business and your life will look completely different than the next mom. Which shouldn’t come as a shock, but so many of us try to mimic others lifestyle or work habits when… we are NOT THE SAME.
The hubster chuckles every time I say, “I’m an unique unicorn.”
However, it’s true. I am and so are you. You don’t have the same family priorities as me… you may not have twins. You may not homeschool your kids. You may not provide physical therapy to one of your kids every week day. You may not have three ginormous dogs in your household. You may have four kids. You may have two in school playing multiple sports having you be an uber 80% of the time. You may not have any kids. You may have thirty cats. Who knows?
Your time and priorities as well as how YOU want to run your business will look so completely different than the next person. And that as our little girl will tell me, “is a beautiful thing… to be different.”
Let’s keep dishing out some truths shall we? Everything has a season. You may be in sweats reading this while sipping on a coffee you reheated three times because your little one keeps distracting you… that’s a season. You may have piles of laundry on your once heavily used or maybe it’s a good-intentioned treadmill but you just don’t have the time for either… that’s a season. You may feel like an uber for your son who is playing soccer every weekend in a different town… that’s a season. You may be able to spend 8 hours a day growing your business because the house is quiet right now… that’s a season. You may be able to have a polished home with no messes anywhere… that’s a season.
Everything flows as a season. Life comes at us in waves. Sometimes, you’ll be able to focus solely on your business… embrace it + run with it. Sometimes, your family will need your attention more… savor it.
You will have super high moments in life followed by low points. Learn to see the lessons in both.
There are times I get caught up in what I’m not able to do and what I am capable of doing gets lost or unappreciated. And a lesson which I am learning is to appreciate the season I am in… discover the lessons… and realize my life, my priorities and how I handle mamahood while building my business will look completely different than someone else’s. It won’t be easy, no… but it will be worth it.
Appreciate where you are in this journey and trust me, this season will pass my beautiful unique unicorn. Just keep showing up and doing your best. I believe in you.
Grit + Gumption.